A Writer Is Someone Who Wrote Something Today

This morning, I disclosed to one of my cousins that I wanted to be a writer. He asked me if I have considered starting a blog, and stated "a writer is someone who wrote something today". It was then I decided that I must begin to write, basically every day. It is the reason I am writing right now. A writer must write. Yeah....pretty obvious, but then why have I not been writing?

I find it extremely interesting that I do not do things that I enjoy, or want to....even when I have the freedom to do them. It's frustrating to me that I don't and I'm never sure quite of the reasons why I don't do what I want to or enjoy.....it's very mysterious. If I try to trace it back, I guess it would begin with a decision, or lack there of. I notice that I need to make a conscious decision to do something. Unless I "make the conscious decision" to do something (or to NOT do something), it will simply not happen. For example, one day I read in a little "quite-smoking pamphlet" that one needs to make the decision to stop/quit smoking in order to quit. It seems so basic, but then why don't we just live this? When I realized this in my heart, then I simply made the conscious decision to quit smoking cigarettes, and I have never smoked since.

Also, I love to cook for friends and try new recipes, but I very seldom make the conscious decision to coordinate the cooking event (ie. choose friends, schedule a time, invite the friends, choose a recipe, get the ingredients, set the table, cook the meal....).

So my question is: If I enjoy doing something, why don't I actively and frequently do that thing I enjoy? I see others "following through" often and frequently/actively doing things they enjoy. What exactly is keeping me from making the conscious decisions to actively pursue enjoyable activities? Wouldn't it be better if I did? Wouldn't I be happier? I want to understand the obstacles and then remove or destroy those obstacles from my life....

So, this morning, I did make the conscious decision to write today, and I did succeed. Now I am very curious what tomorrow will bring, and whether or not I make the decision to write tomorrow on my blog again......stay tuned, eh?

Being on the Fringe

I absolutely love the current Fringe TV show. The only things that bother me are the number and creepiness of the deaths that occur during the episodes, and perhaps the really gross bugs and monsters that come from insides of bodies. It truly is an amazing artistic creation, filled with little details that resonate with me directly, and bring pure delight to me as I watch.

The old house that Peter and Walter live in, and the beautiful staircase drew me in, since my own house of 110 years has very similar architecture and staircase. One episode had an Italian coffee maker sitting on the back wall of the office, on a ledge. This particular little prop thrilled me, because every morning I enjoy making and drinking my own coffee with a similar Italian coffee maker. For a while, I was drinking raw milk, so the cow even gave me delight. Also, the "science" that drives so many of the discussions during the episodes, the laboratories, and the brilliant, absent-minded professor-esc "Walter" character brings me back to my graduate school days as a chemistry graduate student at Colorado State University.

I also appreciate the strength of Olivia Dunam, as a single women living in "this world"....well, technically both worlds. :-) I'll never forget the scene where she's caught in the other world and on the run, trying to get to her safe place. She stops with the taxi driver to get gas, and she goes inside the typical crappy gas station restroom and just breaks down crying. I just love how real that is, to me anyway. I consider myself a pretty strong, independent, single woman (*and also looking for happiness thru love) living in this world, and quite frankly, sometimes I just have to break down and release my fears, tensions, angers and sadnesses. I can relate to that. I can relate to not always being able to be completely strong...with a poker face. And frankly, I don't want to or want to have to. My emotions make me feel alive. So, another thing I love about the show, I think most, is just the pieces of "realness" that it captures and that allows me to really connect with the characters, and feel like I am actually a part of what is happening in the show. This way, it brings more OMG or "holy crapoly!" moments....and even more "holy shit!" moments.

The script writing and character development are absolutely fabulous, and I just needed to write in my blog what a treat this show is in my life, and that it quite simply.....brings me such great enjoyment (despite all the creepy bugs and worms!). <:)