Another Day in Mid-Life Retirement

It’s been 3 weeks since I have been unemployed.

Today began with a storm, literally. Two cats scampering to get inside the house first thing in the morning because they were hungry, while winds picked up and thunderstorm sirens began. I sat on my back step watching the storm clouds move northward above me for about 10 minutes. They were very grey and scary-lookin’ but they didn’t seem to be anywhere near making a ruckus.

About 15 minutes later, I was trying to herd the cats into the basement as huge gusts of wind and rain slammed against my kitchen windows, blocking all views to the back yard. It was exciting and scary. It got my juices flowing. I checked the radar and sure enough, it indicated that there was a storm overhead. Glad I checked that….just to be sure. (I am rolling my eyes at this activity)

After the storm blew threw in about 10 minutes, all was calm again. It continued to rain a while.

I took a nap and slept beautifully. As usual, I didn’t want to stop napping, as Peanut was snuggled in the bed with me and it was so soft and warm and cozy. But, I got myself up anyway and made my bed. When I decided to go back to bed again, I couldn’t because I’d already made the bed. Disappointment set in…until I noticed what a beautiful day it had turned into. Autumn breezy and sunshine. I needed to get ready for my outside exercise and write my blog post!

As I continued to wonder around my house trying to think of what to write in my blog today, I kept getting stuck. I had promised my friend. We both agreed we would have a blog post by this evenings’ regular walk, and here it was, 3:00pm already.

After eating some snacks, I next found myself watching YouTube videos of women’s pregnant bellies. It was footage of babies kicking, and according to the mothers, it hurts when they kick. It reminded me of the episodes on Fringe right before an alien or giant worm or some kind of monster would exit one of their bodies, killing the host. Hopefully that is not ultimately what pregnancy is like for me. That is, if I still become pregnant before it’s too late.

Weird blog post? Perhaps….

Unemployment Experience

I am continuing to be fascinated by my experience as an unemployed individual. I receive so many spam emails attempting to help me find a job and return to the workforce. Various tips and tricks to get me hired. I see them, and then move on without opening them. I read posts on LinkedIn about other peoples' experiences. They share that they are desperate, depressed, unable to find work and miserable. This has not been my experience.

The truth is, I have no desire to find work just yet. I am enjoying every minute of the break from a daily grind of work that has lasted 16 years for me. I feel it is extremely important for me right now to stop and figure out what will make me happy in a career. We spend a multitude of our "life hours" working to earn money to live, but how much of that time do we really gain satisfaction from our daily activities? How many of us actually ensure that our jobs align with our personal values? How many of us are honest with ourselves about our own personal values, in order to pursue those types of jobs or career directions? I can honesty say that I have not been honest with mine, over the years. My current goal is to pursue and achieve that important alignment in my life. I have full faith that I will, and the faith that when I do, the career (or job) of my dreams will come straight to my doorstep.

So, I have been relaxing, able to sleep in as long as I desire in the morning. I am observing myself in a state of "non-schedule" and it's very intriguing to me. I go to parks, sit by the reservoir, and walk to enjoy the beauty of nature. I spend time interacting, snuggling and/or playing with my pets. I take long, relaxing epsom salt baths. I actually take time to read the paper I receive each weekday. I watch movies from Netflix....probably more movies since I've been unemployed than I have in my entire life. I also explore new subjects, opportunities and possibilities from internet using my computer screen as a window. I am learning more and more about myself, and acknowledging the beauty of my own soul.

Aside from this, I do continuously battle the voice inside my head that tells me I should not be relaxing -- the voice that says it's NOT okay for you to spend your time on anything but the *highest* priority of FINDING A JOB again. Honestly, I love not working. I love having the hours of time I have never had before to really think, pray, meditate, calm my mind and truly evaluate what is important to me, and for me in my life. Right now, I will keep these things to myself....

Since my most intimate and beloved friend moved west to Oregon, I do feel lonely and miss him dearly. We keep in touch using all forms of technology, but it doesn't replace the warmth and comfort of personal touch and his loving arms around me. I will go see him for a visit soon, and also get to see my sister and niece and nephew while out there. For this trip, I am grateful. This trip gives me something to look forward to and gives me hope and happiness.